OUR DEAR FATHERS...

I was not born in the sixties, but the history that was made in that period sometimes make me feel like am a part of an unfortunate generation. That was the era of profound and compelling politics. The times of the Azikiwes, the Awolowos, the Shonekans, the Macaulays, the Enahoros and so on and so forth. These were people who made such strong impacts on the average Nigerian. Even now, in our days and times, we still look up to them for inspiration. They continue to dominate the polity of Nigeria.It is only very unfortunate that some of the politicians we know today are only good for slinging stones. Mostly dishonest and of very little worth. It is even more unfortunate that in twenty years from now, we shall not have any politician from the generation before us, I mean this very present crop of rulers, worthy of such acolades. What we have now are green snakes under the proverbial green grass. It is a very sad reality. However, I see a light at the end of this dark tunnel. I stand here to say that I truly believe in my generation and that we have the solutions to Nigeria's problems. What we have in our generation are not too far from the days of old. The only difference between us and the people of the old is that technology has been involved in our activism. The prevalent practise amongst the new generation revelotionalists is to usually take to the social media to help voice thier grieviances against the government.Twitter in particular is the most effective especially considering how certain people have not failed to use it is a ready and quick weapon against both government agencies and 'other people' who are seen to be sympathizers of the government. A lot of people have become what we refer to as twitter celebrities today due to their gallant (while some are garrulous and dishonourable though),activities on the forum. Facebook was the original tool though but twitter has broken records in these recent times. We have the Omojuwa, the Mr Fix Nigeria, the JudgeIyke, the Melaye and a whole lot more that seem to elude my memory right now.The political scene in Nigeria these days have been greatly charged and battles are being waged by the youths, a fact that makes me proud. Unlike what my father says, the Nigerian youth today averagely has a fair idea of what the government is doing. We are beginning to get involved in the decision making of our nations. Most of the non governmental organisations tackling corruption and watching government activities in this country today are being run by the youths. These days, when I relate with certain people of my age group, I am always amazed at how much we seem to know. The Nigerian youth is innovative, hardworking, resillient and never accepts defeat. I have met quite a large number of young brilliant minds who are ready to change things. Unfortunately, our fathers are not just ready to let us have the steering wheels of the leadership of this country. It is amazing that in this age and time, a seventy year old man who should be giving sage advice to us is still clamouring for the office of the president. What can he possibly offer us? We are in the era of technology, and might I say that we are far far behind. Our leaders are evidently not in the know of this,which is why it is hard for them to profer modern day solution to the simplest of all problems that plague us on this country. How hard can it be to harmonize the curriculum in our primary and secondary schools, introduce the non academic skill acquisition programme they have been screaming about for God knows how long now in our educational institutions,curb the spate of insecurity and violence in the country, or even provide an enabling environment for businesses to thrive? Nothing is working at all in this country right now. The sad part is that there was a time that things were actually excellent. The glofifying days of the University of Ibadan and Obafemi Awolowo University have been since sunk into the abyss of history. The glorifying days of cocoa, groundnut and cotton far gone into extinction. I didn't meet these days and I am well into my twenties. I have said it and will continue to say it, that until every politician from the last forty years are pushed to the background or silenced in one way or the other, we shall never be free. How can we continue to put our fates into the hands of people who cannot guarantee that the people in Jos, Bornu, Kano and all those volatile northern states are safe? Corruption has even taken such a contented and executive form under this dispensation. We have even been declared byn the United Nations as a violent nation now due to the violent mass murder of over one hundred and eighty people in Borno this week. This is not my usual turf. I'd rather be writing a piece in the attack of men and the defence of the female folk or pouring out my heart on this page but right now, I burn with such passion and anger plus serious resentment against the rulers of this country. They need to quit if they cannot handle this anymore. Enough is enough!

THE GOOD IN SELFISHNESS

Cynicism is never usually my motive when I act. I believe that man can be selfless in his actions, even though this theory holds very little water. In my third year in the university, I did a course in Ethics. In one of the classes, a debate arose. The debate came about to the statement made by the lecturer. He told us that it is hardly possible for a man to do a good thing for another person without expecting a reward. The reward may either be in the form of a returned favour by the person to whom it is done. It may also be by divine design, especially if the doer was a Christian. That statement immediately triggered a bout of argument. While a lot of people disagreed with that position, a few people reasoned with the argument of the lecturer and agreed with him. The argument that day seemed almost convincing to me. It just made a whole of sense and was waterproof. I mean, think about it. As Christians, we are always enjoined to sow seeds so as to receive abundant blessings from God. Even the Holy Bible stated that when we give, we shall receive back in multiple folds. It says the blessings shall be pressed down, shaken and running over. Note that the catch here is that we must give first. It thus makes a lot of sense when the lecturer said human beings are cynics by nature. I doubt if I have ever given anything out of pure act of generosity alone. Even when in my mind, that is exactly what I convince myself to be doing, I always bear at the back of my mind that God who sees all that I do in the dark will reward me, one way or the other. The humanity in me just knows no bounds. In dealing with my siblings, doing nice things for them means that I get errands done quicker than usual. Even the sense of reference they bear for me rises on such a tremendous scale that I am encouraged to be nicer to them. The truth is that this realization just dawned clearly on me during one of my meditative moods, hence, the inspiration for this piece. This is not an attempt to purge myself of this weakness (that is how I see this), not at all. Infact, I cannot say certainly that there is a specific point this write up will make. I am however sure that a few people will appreciate this point and maybe reason along me. Maybe I can also get a reasonable explanation as to why we cannot as human beings, be totally selfless. No one person can say he is free of this. Even when we do not expect a direct return of the favour we give from the source to which it is given, one way or the other, it has been psychologically embedded in us that for every favour done to a needy person, nature definitely owes us one. Now, my question is this: is this attitude right or not? Should we console ourselves by our humanity and just keep doing good since that is the end result of it all? Now, this brings me to the good that this attitude can produce. Just imagine a situation where everyone inculcates this attitude in them. A situation where everyone believes that for every good done to the other person, you will receive a double of it, pressed down, shaken together and running over. What a wonderful world that will be. I am pretty sure that even the members of the dreaded Boko Haram group will not be rampaging our society and mass murdering us the way they have been doing. More importantly, our office holders will not be as selfish as they are and would render the most selfless services to the citizenry. In all, Nigeria would definitely be a better place. Now, multiply that throughout the whole world. Think of a world where a good deed is repaid in a greater way everytime it is done. There will be less war, whether civil or global in the world. We just might not even know of serial killers. All those oil companies destroying the Niger Delta region might be a little more humane and clean up after them after every spill. In all, the world would be peaceable to live in and the Garden of Eden experience will be relived all over again. Sadly, that may never. Not with the level of evil that daily permeate the world on a daily basis. Well, we can only hope and pray to God Almighty that things get better while we do our very best to make the world the kind of place we would love it to be. You may think it does not matter, but using the dustbin rather than dropping dirt on the floor is a start. Replying a greeting with a smile will go a long way in making a person’s moment brighter. There are a lot we can change by the least important kind gestures.

An incident happened tonight in our house, (my uncle's house i meant). We were watching a soap opera titled 'Now that we are married' and a scene in the soap spurred a series of altercation. Of course I was in the middle of it all. In that scene, a man commanded his wife to get into the car and if she dares disobeys, by God, he will not be held responsible for his actions. Now, it will only be fair to lead you properly through this story by telling you why this woman decided to be that stubborn. It just so happened that on friday night, the man went clubbing. Alone, if I might add. He comes home quite late. Very late. Meanwhile the poor woman was awake all through that period, worried sick. She made frantic calls to everyone she knew asking after this husband of hers.

Finally, the man comes home. He came home reeking of alcohol and very drunk. On top of it all, he forcibly sleeps with his wife amidst her protests. Now, I would effortlessly term this as rape but since they are married, I guess that may be too strong a word. Well, the woman, obviously truamatised by such experience, left her home and went back to her parents' home.

Now this man was obviously sorry the next day, (at least that was what was shown). He could have gone looking for his wife and made up with her, but he chose to listen to his friend who convinced him somehow, to forget about that proud rich girl he call a wife. He instead of going to look for his wife, decided to go eat 'sunday rice' in another friend's house.

Now fast forward to the original scene. His method of making up is to command the wife into the car. The good woman of course gets in and somehow, they make up.

Now you might be wondering what vexed me in this story. At least they made up, right? Well, I would not have been so enraged if not for the statement made by one of the men living with us. He said the man should not have bothered apologising since he was doing a very good job asserting his authority by successfully commanding the wife to enter the car. I went into a fit instantly. Moreso, because he was damned serious too!

Then we got into the real argument. He said the woman was wise in entering the car as commanded and that the man had every right to command her. This is a man who abused his wife. This man rendered no apology, yet someone thinks that that how men behaved. Like seriously? Well, I told him that if I was that woman, I would actually leave in my own car and wait to see what that man would do. And no matter what anyone says, I still insist that I would not do otherwise.

While I admire the wisdom of that woman who put the preservation of her marriage first, I also believe that respect must be reciprocal. You cannot rape me and expect me to 'say thank you for a wonderful night baby' the morning after, simply because you happen to be my husband!

A lot of people see me as a feminist. I see myself more as a realist. One of my favourite quotes is 'what is sauce for the goose also goes for the gander'. Why should a woman be told to shut up in the face of oppression? The other day, I saw a movie where a man continuously physically abused his wife till he killed her. I always say that i am very sure that Jesus Christ would not mind if a woman moves out of a home where she's been constantly battered. It is only a living soul that can intercede for the stubborn hearted. Of what use is a dead wife? The film 'Mr and Mrs' appealed greatly to me because it portrayed a woman who was a fighter. She stood her ground and won back her crumbled marriage. She repositioned herself, took back her self respect and lived again. That is my woman right there. Not all women may be so brave or fortunate, but nothing should ever take away the fight in any woman.

I am definitely not asking women to be rebellious. That is not my point. What I am saying is that women must always jealously secure her pride and self esteem. In a world where men have cut out where they want women to tread and positions that they feel are most suitable for women, we cannot afford to just lean back lazily and be led helplessly about with a leash like dogs. We have choices. Let us make them correctly. We will be happy for it.