WHILE I LEVITATE

He beckons to me with the eyes of the serpent,
he hisses me on eagerly with his sweet lips,
he leads me assuringly by the hands,
I don't want to go, but I can't stop walking.

He offers me the sweetness of the fruit,
the fruit I must think not of,
he does the ritual dance of seduction around me,
while the fruit he holds to my eyes.

I swirl and twirl in estatic anticipation,
my tongue yearns for the savour of the fruit,
I reach out to take it,
he pulls back from me,
he beckons with his eyes to follow him
farther into the night.

I want to not go with him,
I know the poison of the fruit will kill me
but I yearn to go,
for he dances the dance of seduction.

"Just levitate and live...", he says to me,
"think not of what I am, or what I shall be to..." he sings to me,
"just live.."

And live I shall.

FOR THE ANGELS WITHOUT WINGS

Toluwani loved her Uncle. Uncle Shola made her feel special all the time. Each time he came to the house, he would lift her and throw her in the air. He would tickle her endlessly till tears ran down her cheeks from excessive laughter and her sides ached. She trusted her Uncle Shola totally. He could never hurt her.

So she kept thinking until that dark afternoon. Toluwani’s mother had to run extra errands that afternoon after she picked her from school so she thought her brother who was really fond of her daughter and always offered to babysit her could help her look after Toluwani. After she dropped her with Uncle Shola and left, he started with his tirade of friendly gestures again.

Then he started telling Toluwani that she was a special girl and the most beautiful girl in the world. Toluwani kept blushing at these sweet words from her most favourite and trusted Uncle Shola. Then he asked touched her bum and told her she had a beautiful body. He asked her if she would love to have boobs as big as her mom. She giggled shyly and nodded. Then he told her to take her clothes off so he could confirm if this would be. She innocently obeyed. Then he took off his own clothes too and then the nightmare started.

He made her touch him in places. He also stuck his fingers inside her. Then he told her to put his member in her mouth. He said she would be helping him feel happy, just the way he always made her happy too. She naively did as requested. Then he made her lie down and spread her legs and kept trying to get his member into her and even when she cried and told him it hurt her, he didn’t stop. He went on and it hurt. It hurt her pretty bad. She cried and begged but Uncle Shola didn’t listen. She could not believe that he could hurt her ever, but he did. She didn’t understand how but then it was happening and there was no one to help her. Not her mummy or daddy.

Toluwani was only five years old, but she never forgot.

This is the story of one of the several million children, male and female who get violated everyday by heartless but sadly trusted relatives. The truth is that when a truly wicked man sets to work, his victim can barely escape him. Many questions would pop into the mind when one hears such horrible stories. How could anyone ever think of hurting innocent children? Why didn’t the parents suspect a thing? Endless questions that never receive answers.

It is even more terrible in Nigeria where women and female children are treated as not better than properties and the men are expected to always ‘man up’ in the face of tough situations and must not be heard to complain. Most times, cases like this one never get reported or prosecuted at all. They are treated as family issues and the victims are never put into consideration at all. The family’s honour and name suddenly become way more important than finding a closure for victims It is important to state that from a personal survey I made from discussions I have had with male colleagues; at least two out of every ten was violated as a child. The consequence being they grew up becoming sexually hyperactive and insatiable. Some people will say this is a blessing, but then it has also been scientifically proven that excessive sexual drive could be a result of depression. How is this beneficial to anybody?

It is time we took this fight into our own hands and become our children’s vigilantes. Most importantly, closure must be found for the unfortunate victims by ensuring that the evil people who harmed them are handed just and equal punishment. I am I total agreement with the National Assembly to increase the sentence for rape to life imprisonment from fourteen years. More importantly, I insist that they can start by legislating entirely new laws to regulate violence against children. The we can truly say that we can begin the war which has already fallen upon us.

Follow Olayinka on twitter @rubyxion.

NIGERIA! GOOD PEOPLE, GREAT NATION!

Nigeria is indeed a peculiar country. There is never an end to the intriguing and mostly bizarre occurrences that obtains here every single day. Nigeria is the only country where we import ideas, cultures, opinion, religion (or faith), and identities and we manage to customise and infact, manage to build absolutely different concepts from these things. In Nigeria, we have over two hundred and fifty ethnic groups and believe me, every ethnic group has a significant reputation by which it is known or identified.   The Ebiras are known to be genetically troublemakers. Edo women are believed to only have one unifying ambition in life, which is to cross over to Italy and make it big there. Yoruba men are the biggest braggarts in the entire country. They bark more than they can even attempt to bite, and not forgetting the Idomas, who are reputed to be the best hosts of all. They offer their women to visitors who spend the night in their homes. These submissions are not my opinion but that of a large number of Nigerians.  

I shall attempt to share some of the things we do and think that make us so special here:

1.      

•         EVERYONE OUTSIDE OF YOUR TRIBE IS EVIL, MEAN OR JUST PLAIN STUPID.

The other day, I travelled home and had this heartfelt talk with my aunt. She was visibly concerned about the fact that I wasn’t in a relationship. When we got talking about the possible candidates in the line of boyfriends and I mentioned an Emeka, she practically jumped through the roof. She asked me if I had a death wish or whether I would love to be widowed young and stripped of all of my late husband’s properties. I was amused and tried to explain to her that that opinion was a total misconception, but she would have none of it. She commanded me (typical of Yoruba people), never to bring home any ‘omo ibo kankan’, i.e any Igbo man.

The average Hausa man in any average non hausa’s mind is a naturally stupid and retarded person. That is why derogatory statements like ‘ malla’ are of common usage in Nigeria in reference to anyone (regardless of whether you are hausa or not), who behaves stupidly. So, thank me later for these tips I’m giving you.

2.      

•          THERE IS A NIGERIAN VERSION OF CHRISTIANITY.

On every Nigerian street, there are at least over a dozen churches designing every building or sometimes as the case may be, shops or shades. They also have the most hilarious names too, e.g. Guided Missiles Church, Satan in Trouble Ministry, Jehovah Sharp Sharp.  Plus, they all have ‘a.k.as’. In Nigeria, every church has special quarterly programmes designed to tackle some of your serious traditional and conventional problems like marital challenges, financial breakthroughs, bareness, cure to HIV/AIDS and other deadly diseases and sometimes, even the resurrection of your dead loved ones. One time, I saw a poster of a church programme tagged ‘my husband/ wife must locate me this year’. Another one stated thus ‘all the witches from my village must die’ and even another one advertised as ‘the year of 104 babies’.

 In an average Nigerian church, your refusal to divide up your total income and give one-tenth of it to the church or God, (that excludes the generous offering and seeds you are expected to give God on every service day), automatically signs you up on God’s register of cheaters and the consequences of that are too dire to even dare. You will be putting your business and life’s progress in danger of stagnation, so beware and ensure that your tithes are delivered on time to the man of God who will see that God receives it.

All you need to start your church in this country is a sleek, well-tailored suit, beautifully parted hair generously pomaded; an eye catching pair of shoes and maybe a Rolex wristwatch that constantly find its way out of the lapel of the suit. Oh, the most important ingredient; a smiling wife and a large poster of you and her in the city centre.

3.      

•          OUR CHILDHOOD MEMORIES

We can all relate to this, I’m pretty sure. In Nigeria, you proudly tell your story of childhood beatings, punishments, deprivations and what not in the company of your friends who always have similar stories to share. You are absolutely damned if you do not have similar stories to tell. The fact that your parents did not believe in corporal punishment and did not mete out any on you automatically turns you into an untrained, over pampered and spoilt brat, and your parents immediately become the worst parents on the surface of the earth. It will not matter that you turned out well behaved. That will not save you. My advice to you then, to you unmarried people is to start taking spanking classes now, if you intend to have children. Lessons in ‘igbati oloyi, ifoku, ifonu, abara alata,’ etc will come in really handy.

4.         

•          OUR IDEAS OF KARMA AND NEMESIS.

Our movie industry in Nigeria deserve some kudos, not for making the best movies in the world, but for successfully imprinting in our recesses that the bad guys never ever end well. In a typical home video, no matter how gory the story is, somehow, (most times illogically), there is always a happy ending. Always. Infact, once you see certain faces, you can just fix them into their roles in the movies and can tell just how bad they’ll be. Therefore, we have a lot of stereotypical actors who are now so monotonous that it will be a stupid risk to ever want to use them in a different role from what we have come to know them as.

This arrangement comforts us and makes us happy but the problem with this is that in reality, we seldom witness these events happening the way they are portrayed in movies. Babangida will die a good and happy death. This is guaranteed, given his present status in life. He is super rich and influential and it doesn’t matter that he is a bad guy. Same goes for most of the people who have managed to embezzle the public funds and abused public offices. You can say that Abacha died a horrible death, but what other death is better than dying in the hands of a beautiful and exotic Indian woman? Stop hoping that if they happen to escape their punishments, their children will pay for it. It is a twisted way of thinking because it means your children will also suffer for all your unsettled mistakes too. Since our justice system will not be effective enough to put these scums away in jail in no near future, why don’t you just join the looting train and start ensuring the security of your children too from now?

5.      

•        A PRAYING PRESIDENT

So our President went on pilgrim to Israel recently in the company of the leader of the Christian Association of Nigeria and several Governors and ministers. When he reached that tomb where Jesus was buried, he immediately ordered a revival session right there and then. This infact is one of the numerous occasions where our president has sought for divine inspiration and protection. He is a regular attendee of the monthly Redeemed Christian Church of God prayer camp. Well, I guess we will have to patiently wait on God for all our problems to miraculously disappear since we have a president who has got God’s ears. During the Ramadan fast, the President who is a Christian also joined in the fast. I cannot wait to see what he will do during the Osun osogbo festival. Since he is a President for every religion, he must accept to preside over the ritual rites during traditional festivals too, else, that may not go down well with Sango, Yemoja or Amadioha who will make sure they refuse to help do their parts in restoring Nigeria to sanity.

  

DEALING (OR NOT) WITH SHOCKING DISSAPPOINTMENTS

Has there ever been any kind of cushion for unforeseen tragedies and shocking revelations? Nobody is ever adequately prepared for a rough shake from reality. It just shoots from directions you cannot preempt and takes you down. I just got a parcel from a body whose certification examination I took and I was informed that I did not pass. Even now, I'm still utterly awestruck. This is a first time for me and I have no idea as to how to react. I have never repeated an exam in my life! I am not boasting or seeking for any kind of sympathy at all. I am just trying to embrace the feeling of failing an academic endeavour. I didn't even see it coming at all, neither would my family when I inform them.

Now that I think about it, failure isn't such a terrible thing. I have realised now that I will never have everything as I wish and the reason being that life will always give me a lightening jolt of realistic shocks. I fell in love with a particular boy as far back as 2007. For five years we were together in the same class and were pretending to be friendly with each other, while suppressing the need to openly express and be with each other. He is still actively present in my life. I still haven't had the pleasure of claiming him for myself yet. Doesn't that make me a loser in this sense too? And very unfortunately, I am still irredeemably in love with him, beyond explanation or reason. I have come to  learn to accept defeat for battles I cannot win while working on my strategy to emerge victorious at the end of the war.

At the end of the day, the most important lesson is to know now that nothing will ever prepare you for the shock that follows a major defeat. No matter how many times you have gone down that road, or how you always suspected you would be disappointed, there is always that tiny bird that whispers hope to you in the midst of it all.Now, the issue is whether it makes any sense to feed this bird with seeds of relentless passion. How do you know it won't sing you a false song of victory again?Again, starving yourself of faith and hope will only make you look pathetic and empty of passion and content.

If science had packed up at the temple of religion, I doubt if we would ever have been able to, as a race, made all the amazing breakthroughs in technology as we have today. If reason were to be replaced with sentiments every time, the powerful people who have annihilated the rest of humanity that don't fit their approved species. That is what hope gives to you. The strength to outdo yourself every time circumstances tend to make you think less of your abilities.

All this being said, I will take this course again, not for me though. I would take it again for my dad. he paid for it, expensively too. This time however, I'll do it from my own pocket. Time to grow up and take responsibility for myself now. However, the biggest problem I will be facing in the meantime is finding the best means and choice of words to pass this sad news to my father, mother and sisters. I'm pretty sure I'll be able to physically feel the pangs of their disappointing 'ah's and 'ooh's. For the records though, I will be in shock over this for a really long time to come.
Olayinka is on twitter as @rubyxion..

FOR THE BIBLICAL VICTIMS OF GOD'S WHIMS

In Genesis, God planted a tree in the middle of the Garden of Eden, amongst many other trees. He described this tree as the source of good and evil. He then forbade man from ever touching nor think of eating from its fruits. Fast forward a short time afterwards, Eve, Adam's wife, convinced her husband to eat of this fruit. W e all know the rest of the story. Let me mention also the fact that it was another creature of God, the serpent, who showed Eve the seductive beauty of this forbidden fruit. Infact, he explained to her all the benefits attached to the consumption of this fruit. No wonder, the serpents in the advertising industry have successfully convinced women to serve as the medium of selling products over time. Something tells me that Eve offered Adam that fruit during a very steamy intimate and passionate moment. I mean, how else could she have persuaded her husband to forget Almighty God's instructions and eaten the forbidden fruit? History has proved time and time again how women have continually been the very original sources of the most astounding downfalls of world leaders.

The thing has continued to baffle me about this story since I first comprehended it is simply why God had to even plant that tree in the garden in the first place. Why would God intentionally put both good and evil choices before a man, who apparently from his actions since creation, cannot help his sinfulness? I have asked this question severally, but then everyone keeps telling me that there are certain mysteries that are left unresolved. I did left the question alone for sometime, but now, I need answers. The story in the garden of Eden could have gone in this way too: God not planting that tree in the middle of the garden or anywhere else for that matter. God could also not have created the serpent and given it the ability to be cunning and conniving. The result of this would be that there would have been no temptation to disobey God, man would still be in the Garden, of course in billions of number as of today, walking around naked and totally cool with each others nakedness, there wouldn't have been painful childbirths for women, difficult livelihood for men, no Cain killing Abel, no flood destroying the earth as in the days of Noah and so on and so on and so on. Just imagine that kind of a world. A perfect world!

Now, another story that fills me with confusion from the bible is the emancipation of the Hebrew people from Egypt. Agreed, the Egyptian king was reluctant in granting freedom to the race that provided him with the freest and most affordable source of labour, the Bible recorded in Exodus that God hardened the heart of this unfortunate Pharaoh, thus making him all the more obstinate in his stand to not let the Hebrews have their freedom. The question is this, since it was God that hardened his heart, we can logically say that he was not in control of his actions, right? It makes sense to me this way. It also means he had no chance at all from the beginning of the plagues that were inflicted on him and his entire kingdom. I mean, he was a puppet and God was pulling the strings. At the end, Egypt lost a whole generation of first born sons, got their economy, water, farmland destroyed, and even a whole army in pursuit of the escaping Hebrews.

Why didn't God just let the Hebrews fight just like the black race fought for freedom from slavery in America and Europe? That war was long, macabre, tough, violent, but it was won from persistent tenacity and a very long period of racial abuses and prejudices. There were several Moses but no direct divine intervention. Till today, the blacks are still recovering from the whole dastard experience that lasted several centuries. Didn't African colonies struggle under the most despicable and unfair rule from Britain and its sister Colonial masters over the longest time too?

Then there's the story of King Samuel. Sometimes, when I meditate on these stories, I shudder at God's scale of judgement. This poor man disobeyed God and was instantly condemned with no opportunity of repentance. The bible recorded that God sent an evil spirit from His presence to go and permanently torment Saul. An evil spirit o! We all know how possessed people behave right?  All of this for not carrying out God's instructions to the letter. Meanwhile, his successor, David, the man after God's own heart, was a wife snatcher, he took Abigail from Nabal. He was marching down with his men to go kill Nabal when he was informed on the way that God had already taken care of that task for him. He also covetously  seized Bathsheba from Urriah, and what more, even had him murdered! So, David was both a covetous man and a murderer, as recorded by the Bible. Yet he managed to curry God's favour every single time. He wasn't tormented with an evil spirit. Yes, I know my fellow Christians will say he enjoyed immense grace, but personally though, I find it confusing that God would choose one person over the other, yet we all are His creatures.

The most unfortunate of the pack was Judas Iscariot. I pity that man everyday. He had been specially chosen to be the one to betray Jesus.I really don't know why he had to suffer such fate though. Yes, he was dishonest and stole from the disciples' contributions, but so did Matthew before he became a disciple. He was a tax collector, which is equivalent to a Nigerian politician. He found grace but poor Judas didn't. He really deserved to be redeemed in my view, since somebody had to do that dirty job of selling Jesus out anyway, which if u asked me, was not necessary. Jesus could just as well have been arrested without the aid of one of His inner circle. And to seal such bad fate, he killed himself which in Christendom qualified him straight for blazing hell fire. How sad!

I really should stop talking now. I don't want my friends to start thinking that i have crossed to the other side. However, I think that we all should really be careful with God. If we happen to be as unfortunate as these ones that made my list, we all know what their ends were. Or maybe the prophets who constantly have visions and converse with God can ask Him why He was like that with these ones and the rest.

ABOUT THIS SHITTY SCHEME..

Another monday again. The shitty gathering they call CDS is holding and me, even though very unwilling, cannot even contemplate the thought of staying back at home. I have just barely four weeks to the glorious passing out ceremony. It would be utterly foolish of me to risk an extension through an unnecessary absence. I still cannot fathom the need for this absolutely time wasting scheme they call National Youth Service Corps. It is nothing more than pure shenanigan. Proud graduates of prestigious courses are treated to the most disdainful experiences. Just imagine that a whole lawyer is reduced to nothing more than a clerical staff, doing nothing other than making photocopies of some stupid court processes. Worse still, he's scolded when he makes a mistake like a five year old. Hence my hurry to finish with the whole thing and just move on with my life.

Anyway, so after managing to drag myself out of the house, our generous neighbour, who lives downstairs offeredo give me a ride to Berger. I thank God for my good luck. It took us approximately thirty minutes to escape from the quagmiric traffic that bedevilled us on the way out of Kubwa to reach Mabushi. Suddenly, my neighbour remembers his route was actually off Berger and apologetically drops me off at that point.Was I angry? Of course not. I just patiently stand under the harsh sun, burning,while I fought with the other commuters to grab a cab. Finally, after a long while, one shows up and charges me half of what I left the house with. I didn't even mind. I jumped in as soon as I saw this very determined man coming for hard earned found cab. Nonsense! I hissed out loudly.

Finally sha, I got to my destination. As expected, the meeting started with words of admonition and endless advice. The usual charade we have conducted every monday for the past ten months now. I just couldn't be happier that I was leaving in a few weeks.W were told to pick random topics and discuss. Some health conscious group of people in the meeting decided that reminding everyone of their personal hygiene was a great way to get us interractive.Oh, did you know that cucumber is one of the most healthy food in the world. According to our health experts, it is advisable to always dump your dinner for at least five meals of cucumber every night. Yeah. I'm serious o.

Ehen,that was how we got to the topic of the appropriate use of make up by women. What did I not hear from all these fake assed boys that day? They all started claiming that they never really give a rat ass about any girl who loves to appreciate the work of Picasso on her face. Of course the shallow faced girls who were so guilty started to protest. I had no issue with all of that. Until This girl stood up and said that women make all the efforts for the sake of men. Hian! I was so mad. I just cannot comprehend how a woman can wake up and decide to put the impression of some man above and over herself. Do we really need the approval of men to look good? If using all the array of makeup available on earth at once lifts your self esteem, by all means, go ahead and apply them. What I won't accept or defend is to claim that the reason you eneded up looking more like a scare crow and all plastic is because you wanted to please a man. Sisters! It's about time we started feeling good and confindent about the decisions we make for ourselves.To worsen the whole matter, some idiot who was heavily made up herself decided to lend her coarse voice to the whole discuss by referring to people like that as 'prostitutes'. What ignorance!

By the end of the meeting, I was too happy to leave. When I finally conclude this scheme, I am pretty sure I'll only miss about a handful of people. Well, it wasn't all that terrible though. I had some very memorable times with certain people, even though we are no longer in talking terms particularly, but it was surely blissful while it lasted. I cannot but unequivocally state that service year was not as adventurous and beneficial as promised. That irks me all the time.

I hope you folks are having a wonderful week?

ON THAT OVERHYPED TOPIC…

Last week, I had an episode, a very interesting one at that. There I was, chilling in my cousin’s office and having a beautiful chat with her boss. He was telling me how sex was not the hallmark of the best relationships in the world. He said understanding your spouse was way more important than just romping under the sheets with him or her. Now, this is classified information, but he told me that there are times he would go months without touching his wife. Now, that is a very dysfunctional relationship as far as I am concerned. My cousin’s boss, who I’ve been referring to all day, happens to be the perfect spec of the physical requirement of a male specimen. He is really tall, built, has an impeccable dress sense and very jovial. He runs a very viable business outfit and he is quite passionate about his job. So, you can imagine that a man that successful and not keen on intimacy, especially with his very pretty wife is quite disturbing in a way.  Oh, did I mention that he is also a pastor in his Assembly too? His position on sex in marriage is what I found really strange. This is a man who has been married a long time now. I asked him how his wife coped and he said she has had to teach herself over the years to flow with him in that area as in other areas too.

At first, I just concluded that he had to be cheating on her. Well, it doesn’t matter what the truth is about that conclusion and I pray for God’s pardon if I concluded wrongly. Who could blame me though? We have been told on various occasions that men were insatiably horny creatures and women must always be ahead of them to keep them tightened to their loins. In fact, on one of these occasions, we were told that even when some women found it most unimaginably horrifying to go down on their men or be gone down on, it should be condoned where marriage is concerned. We were told to prepare to wash our husband’s ‘cores’ with our mouths as much as it is demanded for in order to ensure that other women, who were most likely to be single, would not be joyfully doing that duty for us. In fact, I have come to conclude over the years that whether I liked it or not, these duties are expected of me if I wanted to make the pass mark of the good wife. After all, the very reason marriage was established was to men very happy irrespective of the reservations, beliefs and fears of their wives. In the case of my elderly friend, just because he is not keen on sex, his wife has had to learn to rein in her sexual drives and tailor it to suit the husband’s sexual timetable.

This piece is not about the emancipation of the sexual freedom of women though so, you guys can like to down your looks of lethal weapons and ease up on the whole ‘these feminists have come again’ hisses. My question is this: is intimacy really the cement of a marital relationship? Let us consider the relationships of the very lasting unions of the popular and familiar people that I know. I will start on a personal note. Before my Grandpapa passed away, he had the most quarrelsome relationship with my Grand mama.  They always argued about everything, yet even when he was allowed to; my Grandfather did not marry two wives. He lived out his life with my grandmother. I really cannot certainly claim that it was the sex that kept that man stuck to my grandmother. During his burial ceremony, my grandmother was totally distraught. Then, I understood that what they shared surpassed the petty fights they always had to have and even now, Mama cannot most of the times, hide her loneliness.

Furthermore, take Charlie Boy and his eccentric wife for example too. They have been married for over three decades now. They have flourished in their madness together and Lady Di has not seen why she should leave that man. In fact, it seems like the more they stay together, the crazier Charlie Boy gets. It definitely cannot be the sex that has kept those two going for so long. Obasanjo and his harem of wives cannot also tell us that they have enjoyed so much intimacy for so long that the thought of leaving Baba would be so unconceivable. Look at Chief Anenih and that wife of his, Justice Anenih. That woman in all her elegance, education and intellectualism chose to be second wife to an eighty year old man. What about Olu Jacobs and Joke Silva? The most amazing of them all are late Odumegwu Ojukwu and that very fine wife of his. I had to pick my references from people who have spent so much time together because it seem like the most objective way to look at it. Not to forget my own folks. Those two have on so many occasions, made me believe that I was going to end up with separated parents. Yet, every time, they have managed to come out of the turbulence even as stronger people. It definitely isn’t about the intimacy. I asked them and the list I got was amidst other adjectives, strange.

I have had to wonder all my life why sex has had to be so overrated. The first time I was bold enough to discuss sex with a friend, I asked him how he felt after the whole episode. He told me that no matter the number of times he did it and no matter how amazing it was, five minutes afterwards, he was feeling hollow again. Not to say that it applies to everyone the same way, but my point is that sex may not be the cornerstone of any relationship. There are people whose spouses have been bedridden for years, or who became incapable of being sexually alive due to some circumstances and who still have a rock solid relationship. Believe me, there are people like that in existence. How come the lack of sex failed to drive them apart?

On a final note, this should not be considered as a conclusive opinion. I am just expressing my opinions and I beckon on you good people of my generation, (by that I mean men and women of marriageable ages, and the married ones too), to enlighten me on what keeps a relationship between a man and a woman lovingly lasting.  

YOU ROCK...

It cannot be everyday that we find ourselves fortunate over the choices we make in life or over the circumstances surrounding our birth or environment. There are people who wish daily that they were not born in their familes, state or even in Nigeria at all. Who can blame them though. No be only dem go sabi where d shoe dey pinsh pinsh dem? Anyway, to those ones, we say, may your future bring better luck for you.

That being said, this piece is going out to the ones for whose sake some of us would never contemplate another origin, citizenship or ancestry. This is to the people who have stayed and persevered through all the years of our drama filled lives. They, who scripted the dramas with us, lived with our personalities, and we admit, even for us, it is never an enjoyable task. You guys always have kept our engines running. You have made life for us an experience to look out for everyday.

Just so you know, you beautiful creatures, who come in the name of mother, father, brother, sister, best friends, cousins, uncles, aunts, neighbours, haters too, (yes, even those ones too), you all are the centre of our world. Just take away you from us and what's left? A helpless child left on the street to fend for himself, or a daughter abused and abandoned, or even a bored youth driven to despondency or deliquencies. Just imagine!

You awesome people always have our backs, praising us when we excel, scolding us when we disappoint, supporting us when we fail, laughing at our dry jokes, cheering us even when no one else sees the need, encouraging us, disappointing us, drawing tears from us, falling in love with us, crahing in love with us, recovering in love with us, reminding us constantly never to settle for less. You rock our world.

We may not tell you everyday, we may seem to not cherish you enough, not ever listen to a word you have to say, not adequately show to you enough, but you are the God we see. Thank you for being so awesome. Don't ever stop. And we'l try harder to show you that we love you, even if we know that we'll suck at making that promise real. You rock my world y'all..

STILL WE WEEP FOR THEM..

About one month ago, a friend of mine told me about an ten year old girl who was gang-raped by three adult men. When she was found, she was all torn and bloodied up. She had suffered so much. I immediately took a keen interest in the case. I called the most available close relative of the victim's father and kept in touch with him.

Reports were made to the Police and arrests were made. We were relieved that justice would be served. And like every horror movie, these men were released on bail, very shortly after they were arrested, upon the payment of fifty thousand naira each. Worse still, the girl's father took her to the village and has been hiding there with the girl since then. This case has hit a major brickwall now. The victim is missing, her father, unreachable.

This one situation goes to show how dangerously mild we treat cases of abuse of the girl child in Nigeria. Once, I read a statistical report that showed that one out of every five Nigerian women had been abused in various ways as children. I truly concur to this fact. The shocking fact is that even the male children are not left out. At least two out of ten boys that I know or are acqueised with were abused as kids. Most of them, children from privileged homes.

Most times, we wonder why our youths enjoy sexual gratification so much. It is displayed in every part of the youthfully dominated spectre of our society. Check out the music churned out, the videos that follow them, the movies being made. Most of them are sexually explicit. Half of the artistes are in their teenage years and early twenties. I'll tell you the reason. Most of them became sexually active at a very impressionable age. A friend once told that at about the age of six, their househelp at that time had given him enough b***jobs to last him a lifetime. Another one told me that shortly before his ninth birthday, one of his father's nurses made him sleep with her frequently. Just imagine!

Let us put the government aside for now. Let us face the families, the most basic units of the society. There are so many career run women now that the number of househelps too have gone on a spiral increase. It is so dizzying. Children are left totally in the trust of these helps, who in turn use these innocent kids to exploit their own budding sexualities.

Parents in our generation have lost the sense of maternally instinctive protective traits. They don't know how to communicate, even read their children anymore. A child suddenly curls up and becomes reclusive and the mother thinks she needs a new toy, ice cream or a new clothe. It is so saddening that parents have comfortably allowed cartoon network, Nicklelodeon, etc to determine how the child interacts with the world. They no longer think genuflecting while greeting elders count anymore. The other day, my nephew was screaming at his mum, telling her to shut up. A three year old fa!

Back to the original issue, while we continue to seek justice for the victims, we must also seek to prevent the occurence of such unfortunate events. The family and the society at large must strive at all times to protect these vulnerable ones.

ON THE ISSUE OF TRUST

'I totally trust my man. He'll never do anything to hurt me..'
It just so happen that a very good friend of mine just insisted on this while defending his loyalty in the face of tedious questioning by the supervillain, Ikenna, (he's my friend and he's really a supervillain).This sentence is like one of my all time favourites. You wonder why? Patience dear, patience. You will find out soon enough.

We live in a perverse world where trust is such a rarity now. Just yesterday, I was having this same discussion with my friend where he held the position that he would rather not hear of his partner's misdeeds. He is of the school of though that posits that what you don't know can't hurt you. I found reason with his position. However, what happens when he eventually finds out? He was truthful enough to let me know that he would naturally cut off every conduit of trust he had for her. He would suspect her every movement, scrutinize every call and messages she receives and things would from that point, degenerate.

In a world where the measurement of acceptance by the society is by how many 'things' you have done in life, it will also very apt when people say things like: 'ko s'eyan mo laye', meaning, ' there's no person of honour again in the world'.

As a victim and also a guilty party, I know quite well what effects disappointments can have on the pysche of any human being. Such an experience will inculcate into the very deep recesses of your mind, the need to be on the edge about everyone. You begin to love with caution, and like me, statements like 'expect little and you will hardly be disappointed', will become your mantra.

I know for a fact that my friend's position that what you don't know cannot hurt you is on point. I mean, it's what got to be keeping the world of relationship sane even up to this minute, right? Considering the testimony of my friend, I think that the less everyone knew of their partners' crime, the better for them.

However, I am not in anyway, advocating dishonesty in relationships, whether romantic, business, family or platonic. There is no better substitute for honesty than honesty itself. It is far more disappointing when the truth is discovered through an unpleasant avenue, especially from a hater. A hater will not paint the picture nicely at all. Most of the time, such situations are hardly salvagable.

Trust does not come by easily. It most definfitely must be earned. It is not made any easier when even the very few people you choose to trust are daily springing surpises on you, and unpleasant ones at that. Nobody is hardly innocent of this crime. Like I said earlier, I have been caught countless times in a number of compromising situations that I have come to value friendship and relationships more.

On a final note, if nothing, I have come to discover that human beings are very capable of forgiveness and there are still people who will get your back any time and any day. So, more reasons not to stop trusting. It does get better.

'I totally trust my man. He'll never do anything to hurt me..'
It just so happen that a very good friend of mine just insisted on this while defending his loyalty in the face of tedious questioning by the supervillain, Ikenna, (he's my friend and he's really a supervillain).This sentence is like one of my all time favourites. You wonder why? Patience dear, patience. You will find out soon enough.

We live in a perverse world where trust is such a rarity now. Just yesterday, I was having this same discussion with my friend where he held the position that he would rather not hear of his partner's misdeeds. He is of the school of though that posits that what you don't know can't hurt you. I found reason with his position. However, what happens when he eventually finds out? He was truthful enough to let me know that he would naturally cut off every conduit of trust he had for her. He would suspect her every movement, scrutinize every call and messages she receives and things would from that point, degenerate.

In a world where the measurement of acceptance by the society is by how many 'things' you have done in life, it will also very apt when people say things like: 'ko s'eyan mo laye', meaning, ' there's no person of honour again in the world'.

As a victim and also a guilty party, I know quite well what effects disappointments can have on the pysche of any human being. Such an experience will inculcate into the very deep recesses of your mind, the need to be on the edge about everyone. You begin to love with caution, and like me, statements like 'expect little and you will hardly be disappointed', will become your mantra.

I know for a fact that my friend's position that what you don't know cannot hurt you is on point. I mean, it's what got to be keeping the world of relationship sane even up to this minute, right? Considering the testimony of my friend, I think that the less everyone knew of their partners' crime, the better for them.

However, I am not in anyway, advocating dishonesty in relationships, whether romantic, business, family or platonic. There is no better substitute for honesty than honesty itself. It is far more disappointing when the truth is discovered through an unpleasant avenue, especially from a hater. A hater will not paint the picture nicely at all. Most of the time, such situations are hardly salvagable.

Trust does not come by easily. It most definfitely must be earned. It is not made any easier when even the very few people you choose to trust are daily springing surpises on you, and unpleasant ones at that. Nobody is hardly innocent of this crime. Like I said earlier, I have been caught countless times in a number of compromising situations that I have come to value friendship and relationships more.

On a final note, if nothing, I have come to discover that human beings are very capable of forgiveness and there are still people who will get your back any time and any day. So, more reasons not to stop trusting. It does get better.

CAN ANYONE HELP ME?

There are certain reactions that are relative to certain situations and events in life. When you land that dream job you'v always wanted, your shoulders are automatically elevated. You can't stop talking about how amazing your job is and all. When he finally pops the question, everything about him becomes suddenly awesome. He becomes the basis of your very existence. When your team wins that league or cup, mehn, no other team can ever live to be as great as yours. Great feelings accompany great events. That is the normal norm in life, right?

Now comes the anticlimax. What happens when you have to helplessly watch all the amazing feelings spiral down and plummet into the abyss of indifference, a total breakdown or even failure? What happens when that best friend of yours suddenly happens not to think you are his best buddy? That awkward moment when you realise that your team could not defend their title.#CFC#. That point in your life when you wish that you wanted to be with another woman rather than the one you already committed to. What happens when what you thought was going to be the most passionate thing that has ever happened to you suddenly loses all its flavour and becomes tasteless? Especially when you have tried to give it your all and it seems like all you'r hitting is a brickwall that won't cave in easily?

How does one reconcile that great dream you once had and the brutal reality that confronts you presently? I really need answers this time. I don't have any.. All I know is that it leaves you with nothing but a deep gore in your chest (litrally).

So, please if there is anyone who will read this and can tell me how to deal with it, do not hesitate to drop your suggestions here.

OUR DEAR FATHERS...

I was not born in the sixties, but the history that was made in that period sometimes make me feel like am a part of an unfortunate generation. That was the era of profound and compelling politics. The times of the Azikiwes, the Awolowos, the Shonekans, the Macaulays, the Enahoros and so on and so forth. These were people who made such strong impacts on the average Nigerian. Even now, in our days and times, we still look up to them for inspiration. They continue to dominate the polity of Nigeria.It is only very unfortunate that some of the politicians we know today are only good for slinging stones. Mostly dishonest and of very little worth. It is even more unfortunate that in twenty years from now, we shall not have any politician from the generation before us, I mean this very present crop of rulers, worthy of such acolades. What we have now are green snakes under the proverbial green grass. It is a very sad reality. However, I see a light at the end of this dark tunnel. I stand here to say that I truly believe in my generation and that we have the solutions to Nigeria's problems. What we have in our generation are not too far from the days of old. The only difference between us and the people of the old is that technology has been involved in our activism. The prevalent practise amongst the new generation revelotionalists is to usually take to the social media to help voice thier grieviances against the government.Twitter in particular is the most effective especially considering how certain people have not failed to use it is a ready and quick weapon against both government agencies and 'other people' who are seen to be sympathizers of the government. A lot of people have become what we refer to as twitter celebrities today due to their gallant (while some are garrulous and dishonourable though),activities on the forum. Facebook was the original tool though but twitter has broken records in these recent times. We have the Omojuwa, the Mr Fix Nigeria, the JudgeIyke, the Melaye and a whole lot more that seem to elude my memory right now.The political scene in Nigeria these days have been greatly charged and battles are being waged by the youths, a fact that makes me proud. Unlike what my father says, the Nigerian youth today averagely has a fair idea of what the government is doing. We are beginning to get involved in the decision making of our nations. Most of the non governmental organisations tackling corruption and watching government activities in this country today are being run by the youths. These days, when I relate with certain people of my age group, I am always amazed at how much we seem to know. The Nigerian youth is innovative, hardworking, resillient and never accepts defeat. I have met quite a large number of young brilliant minds who are ready to change things. Unfortunately, our fathers are not just ready to let us have the steering wheels of the leadership of this country. It is amazing that in this age and time, a seventy year old man who should be giving sage advice to us is still clamouring for the office of the president. What can he possibly offer us? We are in the era of technology, and might I say that we are far far behind. Our leaders are evidently not in the know of this,which is why it is hard for them to profer modern day solution to the simplest of all problems that plague us on this country. How hard can it be to harmonize the curriculum in our primary and secondary schools, introduce the non academic skill acquisition programme they have been screaming about for God knows how long now in our educational institutions,curb the spate of insecurity and violence in the country, or even provide an enabling environment for businesses to thrive? Nothing is working at all in this country right now. The sad part is that there was a time that things were actually excellent. The glofifying days of the University of Ibadan and Obafemi Awolowo University have been since sunk into the abyss of history. The glorifying days of cocoa, groundnut and cotton far gone into extinction. I didn't meet these days and I am well into my twenties. I have said it and will continue to say it, that until every politician from the last forty years are pushed to the background or silenced in one way or the other, we shall never be free. How can we continue to put our fates into the hands of people who cannot guarantee that the people in Jos, Bornu, Kano and all those volatile northern states are safe? Corruption has even taken such a contented and executive form under this dispensation. We have even been declared byn the United Nations as a violent nation now due to the violent mass murder of over one hundred and eighty people in Borno this week. This is not my usual turf. I'd rather be writing a piece in the attack of men and the defence of the female folk or pouring out my heart on this page but right now, I burn with such passion and anger plus serious resentment against the rulers of this country. They need to quit if they cannot handle this anymore. Enough is enough!

THE GOOD IN SELFISHNESS

Cynicism is never usually my motive when I act. I believe that man can be selfless in his actions, even though this theory holds very little water. In my third year in the university, I did a course in Ethics. In one of the classes, a debate arose. The debate came about to the statement made by the lecturer. He told us that it is hardly possible for a man to do a good thing for another person without expecting a reward. The reward may either be in the form of a returned favour by the person to whom it is done. It may also be by divine design, especially if the doer was a Christian. That statement immediately triggered a bout of argument. While a lot of people disagreed with that position, a few people reasoned with the argument of the lecturer and agreed with him. The argument that day seemed almost convincing to me. It just made a whole of sense and was waterproof. I mean, think about it. As Christians, we are always enjoined to sow seeds so as to receive abundant blessings from God. Even the Holy Bible stated that when we give, we shall receive back in multiple folds. It says the blessings shall be pressed down, shaken and running over. Note that the catch here is that we must give first. It thus makes a lot of sense when the lecturer said human beings are cynics by nature. I doubt if I have ever given anything out of pure act of generosity alone. Even when in my mind, that is exactly what I convince myself to be doing, I always bear at the back of my mind that God who sees all that I do in the dark will reward me, one way or the other. The humanity in me just knows no bounds. In dealing with my siblings, doing nice things for them means that I get errands done quicker than usual. Even the sense of reference they bear for me rises on such a tremendous scale that I am encouraged to be nicer to them. The truth is that this realization just dawned clearly on me during one of my meditative moods, hence, the inspiration for this piece. This is not an attempt to purge myself of this weakness (that is how I see this), not at all. Infact, I cannot say certainly that there is a specific point this write up will make. I am however sure that a few people will appreciate this point and maybe reason along me. Maybe I can also get a reasonable explanation as to why we cannot as human beings, be totally selfless. No one person can say he is free of this. Even when we do not expect a direct return of the favour we give from the source to which it is given, one way or the other, it has been psychologically embedded in us that for every favour done to a needy person, nature definitely owes us one. Now, my question is this: is this attitude right or not? Should we console ourselves by our humanity and just keep doing good since that is the end result of it all? Now, this brings me to the good that this attitude can produce. Just imagine a situation where everyone inculcates this attitude in them. A situation where everyone believes that for every good done to the other person, you will receive a double of it, pressed down, shaken together and running over. What a wonderful world that will be. I am pretty sure that even the members of the dreaded Boko Haram group will not be rampaging our society and mass murdering us the way they have been doing. More importantly, our office holders will not be as selfish as they are and would render the most selfless services to the citizenry. In all, Nigeria would definitely be a better place. Now, multiply that throughout the whole world. Think of a world where a good deed is repaid in a greater way everytime it is done. There will be less war, whether civil or global in the world. We just might not even know of serial killers. All those oil companies destroying the Niger Delta region might be a little more humane and clean up after them after every spill. In all, the world would be peaceable to live in and the Garden of Eden experience will be relived all over again. Sadly, that may never. Not with the level of evil that daily permeate the world on a daily basis. Well, we can only hope and pray to God Almighty that things get better while we do our very best to make the world the kind of place we would love it to be. You may think it does not matter, but using the dustbin rather than dropping dirt on the floor is a start. Replying a greeting with a smile will go a long way in making a person’s moment brighter. There are a lot we can change by the least important kind gestures.