'I totally trust my man. He'll never do anything to hurt me..'
It just so happen that a very good friend of mine just insisted on this while defending his loyalty in the face of tedious questioning by the supervillain, Ikenna, (he's my friend and he's really a supervillain).This sentence is like one of my all time favourites. You wonder why? Patience dear, patience. You will find out soon enough.
We live in a perverse world where trust is such a rarity now. Just yesterday, I was having this same discussion with my friend where he held the position that he would rather not hear of his partner's misdeeds. He is of the school of though that posits that what you don't know can't hurt you. I found reason with his position. However, what happens when he eventually finds out? He was truthful enough to let me know that he would naturally cut off every conduit of trust he had for her. He would suspect her every movement, scrutinize every call and messages she receives and things would from that point, degenerate.
In a world where the measurement of acceptance by the society is by how many 'things' you have done in life, it will also very apt when people say things like: 'ko s'eyan mo laye', meaning, ' there's no person of honour again in the world'.
As a victim and also a guilty party, I know quite well what effects disappointments can have on the pysche of any human being. Such an experience will inculcate into the very deep recesses of your mind, the need to be on the edge about everyone. You begin to love with caution, and like me, statements like 'expect little and you will hardly be disappointed', will become your mantra.
I know for a fact that my friend's position that what you don't know cannot hurt you is on point. I mean, it's what got to be keeping the world of relationship sane even up to this minute, right? Considering the testimony of my friend, I think that the less everyone knew of their partners' crime, the better for them.
However, I am not in anyway, advocating dishonesty in relationships, whether romantic, business, family or platonic. There is no better substitute for honesty than honesty itself. It is far more disappointing when the truth is discovered through an unpleasant avenue, especially from a hater. A hater will not paint the picture nicely at all. Most of the time, such situations are hardly salvagable.
Trust does not come by easily. It most definfitely must be earned. It is not made any easier when even the very few people you choose to trust are daily springing surpises on you, and unpleasant ones at that. Nobody is hardly innocent of this crime. Like I said earlier, I have been caught countless times in a number of compromising situations that I have come to value friendship and relationships more.
On a final note, if nothing, I have come to discover that human beings are very capable of forgiveness and there are still people who will get your back any time and any day. So, more reasons not to stop trusting. It does get better.
Friday, 24 May 2013
'I totally trust my man. He'll never do anything to hurt me..'
It just so happen that a very good friend of mine just insisted on this while defending his loyalty in the face of tedious questioning by the supervillain, Ikenna, (he's my friend and he's really a supervillain).This sentence is like one of my all time favourites. You wonder why? Patience dear, patience. You will find out soon enough.
We live in a perverse world where trust is such a rarity now. Just yesterday, I was having this same discussion with my friend where he held the position that he would rather not hear of his partner's misdeeds. He is of the school of though that posits that what you don't know can't hurt you. I found reason with his position. However, what happens when he eventually finds out? He was truthful enough to let me know that he would naturally cut off every conduit of trust he had for her. He would suspect her every movement, scrutinize every call and messages she receives and things would from that point, degenerate.
In a world where the measurement of acceptance by the society is by how many 'things' you have done in life, it will also very apt when people say things like: 'ko s'eyan mo laye', meaning, ' there's no person of honour again in the world'.
As a victim and also a guilty party, I know quite well what effects disappointments can have on the pysche of any human being. Such an experience will inculcate into the very deep recesses of your mind, the need to be on the edge about everyone. You begin to love with caution, and like me, statements like 'expect little and you will hardly be disappointed', will become your mantra.
I know for a fact that my friend's position that what you don't know cannot hurt you is on point. I mean, it's what got to be keeping the world of relationship sane even up to this minute, right? Considering the testimony of my friend, I think that the less everyone knew of their partners' crime, the better for them.
However, I am not in anyway, advocating dishonesty in relationships, whether romantic, business, family or platonic. There is no better substitute for honesty than honesty itself. It is far more disappointing when the truth is discovered through an unpleasant avenue, especially from a hater. A hater will not paint the picture nicely at all. Most of the time, such situations are hardly salvagable.
Trust does not come by easily. It most definfitely must be earned. It is not made any easier when even the very few people you choose to trust are daily springing surpises on you, and unpleasant ones at that. Nobody is hardly innocent of this crime. Like I said earlier, I have been caught countless times in a number of compromising situations that I have come to value friendship and relationships more.
On a final note, if nothing, I have come to discover that human beings are very capable of forgiveness and there are still people who will get your back any time and any day. So, more reasons not to stop trusting. It does get better.
It just so happen that a very good friend of mine just insisted on this while defending his loyalty in the face of tedious questioning by the supervillain, Ikenna, (he's my friend and he's really a supervillain).This sentence is like one of my all time favourites. You wonder why? Patience dear, patience. You will find out soon enough.
We live in a perverse world where trust is such a rarity now. Just yesterday, I was having this same discussion with my friend where he held the position that he would rather not hear of his partner's misdeeds. He is of the school of though that posits that what you don't know can't hurt you. I found reason with his position. However, what happens when he eventually finds out? He was truthful enough to let me know that he would naturally cut off every conduit of trust he had for her. He would suspect her every movement, scrutinize every call and messages she receives and things would from that point, degenerate.
In a world where the measurement of acceptance by the society is by how many 'things' you have done in life, it will also very apt when people say things like: 'ko s'eyan mo laye', meaning, ' there's no person of honour again in the world'.
As a victim and also a guilty party, I know quite well what effects disappointments can have on the pysche of any human being. Such an experience will inculcate into the very deep recesses of your mind, the need to be on the edge about everyone. You begin to love with caution, and like me, statements like 'expect little and you will hardly be disappointed', will become your mantra.
I know for a fact that my friend's position that what you don't know cannot hurt you is on point. I mean, it's what got to be keeping the world of relationship sane even up to this minute, right? Considering the testimony of my friend, I think that the less everyone knew of their partners' crime, the better for them.
However, I am not in anyway, advocating dishonesty in relationships, whether romantic, business, family or platonic. There is no better substitute for honesty than honesty itself. It is far more disappointing when the truth is discovered through an unpleasant avenue, especially from a hater. A hater will not paint the picture nicely at all. Most of the time, such situations are hardly salvagable.
Trust does not come by easily. It most definfitely must be earned. It is not made any easier when even the very few people you choose to trust are daily springing surpises on you, and unpleasant ones at that. Nobody is hardly innocent of this crime. Like I said earlier, I have been caught countless times in a number of compromising situations that I have come to value friendship and relationships more.
On a final note, if nothing, I have come to discover that human beings are very capable of forgiveness and there are still people who will get your back any time and any day. So, more reasons not to stop trusting. It does get better.
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