'I totally trust my man. He'll never do anything to hurt me..'
It just so happen that a very good friend of mine just insisted on this while defending his loyalty in the face of tedious questioning by the supervillain, Ikenna, (he's my friend and he's really a supervillain).This sentence is like one of my all time favourites. You wonder why? Patience dear, patience. You will find out soon enough.
We live in a perverse world where trust is such a rarity now. Just yesterday, I was having this same discussion with my friend where he held the position that he would rather not hear of his partner's misdeeds. He is of the school of though that posits that what you don't know can't hurt you. I found reason with his position. However, what happens when he eventually finds out? He was truthful enough to let me know that he would naturally cut off every conduit of trust he had for her. He would suspect her every movement, scrutinize every call and messages she receives and things would from that point, degenerate.
In a world where the measurement of acceptance by the society is by how many 'things' you have done in life, it will also very apt when people say things like: 'ko s'eyan mo laye', meaning, ' there's no person of honour again in the world'.
As a victim and also a guilty party, I know quite well what effects disappointments can have on the pysche of any human being. Such an experience will inculcate into the very deep recesses of your mind, the need to be on the edge about everyone. You begin to love with caution, and like me, statements like 'expect little and you will hardly be disappointed', will become your mantra.
I know for a fact that my friend's position that what you don't know cannot hurt you is on point. I mean, it's what got to be keeping the world of relationship sane even up to this minute, right? Considering the testimony of my friend, I think that the less everyone knew of their partners' crime, the better for them.
However, I am not in anyway, advocating dishonesty in relationships, whether romantic, business, family or platonic. There is no better substitute for honesty than honesty itself. It is far more disappointing when the truth is discovered through an unpleasant avenue, especially from a hater. A hater will not paint the picture nicely at all. Most of the time, such situations are hardly salvagable.
Trust does not come by easily. It most definfitely must be earned. It is not made any easier when even the very few people you choose to trust are daily springing surpises on you, and unpleasant ones at that. Nobody is hardly innocent of this crime. Like I said earlier, I have been caught countless times in a number of compromising situations that I have come to value friendship and relationships more.
On a final note, if nothing, I have come to discover that human beings are very capable of forgiveness and there are still people who will get your back any time and any day. So, more reasons not to stop trusting. It does get better.
Friday, 24 May 2013
'I totally trust my man. He'll never do anything to hurt me..'
It just so happen that a very good friend of mine just insisted on this while defending his loyalty in the face of tedious questioning by the supervillain, Ikenna, (he's my friend and he's really a supervillain).This sentence is like one of my all time favourites. You wonder why? Patience dear, patience. You will find out soon enough.
We live in a perverse world where trust is such a rarity now. Just yesterday, I was having this same discussion with my friend where he held the position that he would rather not hear of his partner's misdeeds. He is of the school of though that posits that what you don't know can't hurt you. I found reason with his position. However, what happens when he eventually finds out? He was truthful enough to let me know that he would naturally cut off every conduit of trust he had for her. He would suspect her every movement, scrutinize every call and messages she receives and things would from that point, degenerate.
In a world where the measurement of acceptance by the society is by how many 'things' you have done in life, it will also very apt when people say things like: 'ko s'eyan mo laye', meaning, ' there's no person of honour again in the world'.
As a victim and also a guilty party, I know quite well what effects disappointments can have on the pysche of any human being. Such an experience will inculcate into the very deep recesses of your mind, the need to be on the edge about everyone. You begin to love with caution, and like me, statements like 'expect little and you will hardly be disappointed', will become your mantra.
I know for a fact that my friend's position that what you don't know cannot hurt you is on point. I mean, it's what got to be keeping the world of relationship sane even up to this minute, right? Considering the testimony of my friend, I think that the less everyone knew of their partners' crime, the better for them.
However, I am not in anyway, advocating dishonesty in relationships, whether romantic, business, family or platonic. There is no better substitute for honesty than honesty itself. It is far more disappointing when the truth is discovered through an unpleasant avenue, especially from a hater. A hater will not paint the picture nicely at all. Most of the time, such situations are hardly salvagable.
Trust does not come by easily. It most definfitely must be earned. It is not made any easier when even the very few people you choose to trust are daily springing surpises on you, and unpleasant ones at that. Nobody is hardly innocent of this crime. Like I said earlier, I have been caught countless times in a number of compromising situations that I have come to value friendship and relationships more.
On a final note, if nothing, I have come to discover that human beings are very capable of forgiveness and there are still people who will get your back any time and any day. So, more reasons not to stop trusting. It does get better.
It just so happen that a very good friend of mine just insisted on this while defending his loyalty in the face of tedious questioning by the supervillain, Ikenna, (he's my friend and he's really a supervillain).This sentence is like one of my all time favourites. You wonder why? Patience dear, patience. You will find out soon enough.
We live in a perverse world where trust is such a rarity now. Just yesterday, I was having this same discussion with my friend where he held the position that he would rather not hear of his partner's misdeeds. He is of the school of though that posits that what you don't know can't hurt you. I found reason with his position. However, what happens when he eventually finds out? He was truthful enough to let me know that he would naturally cut off every conduit of trust he had for her. He would suspect her every movement, scrutinize every call and messages she receives and things would from that point, degenerate.
In a world where the measurement of acceptance by the society is by how many 'things' you have done in life, it will also very apt when people say things like: 'ko s'eyan mo laye', meaning, ' there's no person of honour again in the world'.
As a victim and also a guilty party, I know quite well what effects disappointments can have on the pysche of any human being. Such an experience will inculcate into the very deep recesses of your mind, the need to be on the edge about everyone. You begin to love with caution, and like me, statements like 'expect little and you will hardly be disappointed', will become your mantra.
I know for a fact that my friend's position that what you don't know cannot hurt you is on point. I mean, it's what got to be keeping the world of relationship sane even up to this minute, right? Considering the testimony of my friend, I think that the less everyone knew of their partners' crime, the better for them.
However, I am not in anyway, advocating dishonesty in relationships, whether romantic, business, family or platonic. There is no better substitute for honesty than honesty itself. It is far more disappointing when the truth is discovered through an unpleasant avenue, especially from a hater. A hater will not paint the picture nicely at all. Most of the time, such situations are hardly salvagable.
Trust does not come by easily. It most definfitely must be earned. It is not made any easier when even the very few people you choose to trust are daily springing surpises on you, and unpleasant ones at that. Nobody is hardly innocent of this crime. Like I said earlier, I have been caught countless times in a number of compromising situations that I have come to value friendship and relationships more.
On a final note, if nothing, I have come to discover that human beings are very capable of forgiveness and there are still people who will get your back any time and any day. So, more reasons not to stop trusting. It does get better.
Thursday, 16 May 2013
CAN ANYONE HELP ME?
There are certain reactions that are relative to certain situations and events in life. When you land that dream job you'v always wanted, your shoulders are automatically elevated. You can't stop talking about how amazing your job is and all. When he finally pops the question, everything about him becomes suddenly awesome. He becomes the basis of your very existence. When your team wins that league or cup, mehn, no other team can ever live to be as great as yours. Great feelings accompany great events. That is the normal norm in life, right?
Now comes the anticlimax. What happens when you have to helplessly watch all the amazing feelings spiral down and plummet into the abyss of indifference, a total breakdown or even failure? What happens when that best friend of yours suddenly happens not to think you are his best buddy? That awkward moment when you realise that your team could not defend their title.#CFC#. That point in your life when you wish that you wanted to be with another woman rather than the one you already committed to. What happens when what you thought was going to be the most passionate thing that has ever happened to you suddenly loses all its flavour and becomes tasteless? Especially when you have tried to give it your all and it seems like all you'r hitting is a brickwall that won't cave in easily?
How does one reconcile that great dream you once had and the brutal reality that confronts you presently? I really need answers this time. I don't have any.. All I know is that it leaves you with nothing but a deep gore in your chest (litrally).
So, please if there is anyone who will read this and can tell me how to deal with it, do not hesitate to drop your suggestions here.
Now comes the anticlimax. What happens when you have to helplessly watch all the amazing feelings spiral down and plummet into the abyss of indifference, a total breakdown or even failure? What happens when that best friend of yours suddenly happens not to think you are his best buddy? That awkward moment when you realise that your team could not defend their title.#CFC#. That point in your life when you wish that you wanted to be with another woman rather than the one you already committed to. What happens when what you thought was going to be the most passionate thing that has ever happened to you suddenly loses all its flavour and becomes tasteless? Especially when you have tried to give it your all and it seems like all you'r hitting is a brickwall that won't cave in easily?
How does one reconcile that great dream you once had and the brutal reality that confronts you presently? I really need answers this time. I don't have any.. All I know is that it leaves you with nothing but a deep gore in your chest (litrally).
So, please if there is anyone who will read this and can tell me how to deal with it, do not hesitate to drop your suggestions here.
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